Ever been there?
I am married to a man who has loved, appreciated and chose me. It wasn't like he HAD to take me and then demand to be given the one he really loved. My relationship with my siblings is good not that we have always lived the same lifestyle but we managed to grow up to appreciate and love each other. In my circle of friends, acquaintances, and extended family things are for the most part good. I can think of two people who might not be happy with us but we have reached out and now have to wait on God's timing to restore. But if I was truthful, I would say there has been times I felt and known that I was unloved/hated.
I just pulled down my mom's old KJV translation and sure enough it says Leah was hated...not unloved. In other translation they made note of it; but I wanted to see it for myself. Tuesday I touched on this subject in ministering with some ladies at the nursing home. One lady and I were tag teaming and as I finished talking regarding Leah being hated, I walked back to another lady and I whispered , "She wasn't hated to much with all the children she bore ." Lighten up, it is humor. Let's face it though there is a huge difference in being loved and having sex. In that time and culture it was a sign of blessing and prosperity according to how many children your wife or wives bore along with the riches you attained. Women viewed their lives by the number of children they were given.
I don't want to concentrate so much on Leah's relationship with her husband and sister so much as I do on the fact that the Lord saw. He had compassion, love, attentiveness, and he did something to ease her pain. It spoke freshness into my heart. He opened her womb. As this verse struck a chord within me my second thought was, "Oh, what ever You do DON'T open my womb!" :) He touched her just in the area of her life that was important to her and she knew it.
Verse 32 ......."The Lord has surely looked on my affliction....."
Verse 33......... "Because the Lord has heard that I am unloved/hated....."
She realized the Lord saw and heard of the pain she was dealing within her heart. And because He saw Leah we can take comfort He sees us, also. But, and it is a big but. Let us look at what her expectations were from the blessings:
Verse 32.........."NOW therefore, my husband will love me"
Verse 34...........NOW this time my husband will become attached to me, because I have borne him three sons."
Yet, her circumstances didn't change, if anything her relationships got worse; but there seems to be an inkling forming in her mind that even though her relationship with her husband isn't better after she bore the fourth son she said, "NOW I will praise the Lord".
I can so relate to her. Why does it take me to the fourth, fifth, and so forth time to realize I just need to praise Him? His expectations and mine don't always see eye to eye. His purpose and mine don't always jive. She goes on to bear other sons and a daughter and we see her once again slip back, "NOW my husband will dwell with me, because I have borne him six sons."
Oh, Leah! Oh, Barbara!
Oh, for the day I can rest in the Lord that He has seen, He has blessed, and He is working to carry out His plan and purposes. Not mine. Maybe I will still be unloved/hated. Maybe I won't. If I just sit at His feet and let go. Maybe if I seek His face and not His hand. In other words, I am wanting His relationship over what He can change or do. Will you join me?
"You will show me the path of life;
In Your Presence is fullness of joy; At Your right hand are pleasures forevermore."
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Psalm 16:11
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It seems that all Christians have short term memory problems when it comes to trusting God. We forget to count the blessings we have received so we can be confident there are more coming.
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